You probably played a game as a child where you got 20 Questions to find out what the other person was thinking. All they could respond was “Yes” or “No,” and if you could guess before you ran out of questions, you won. As childish as it is, if done correctly, it can be a great date idea, especially for first dates or those that are long distance. Here is your guide to having successful date based off of 20 (or more) questions.
How to Initiate the Date
First off, 20 questions is just a fancy, or formal way of having a conversation and getting to know each other. In reality, most of us throughout a date ask questions whether or not we think about them before the date. It is natural to get to know someone through asking questions. In most cases one does not need to ask, “Do you want to go on a date and play 20 questions?” you can just start with a question and let the conversation start. On the other hand, if the other person is more introverted or shy you may need to make it sound like an activity to make them feel more comfortable and engaged. This also can turn a generic skype date, where one generally just talks, sound more like an activity.
Do’s and Don’ts
The golden rule applies to this game as it does all other date ideas, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” or if we rephrase it, “Ask others what you would have them ask unto you” It is always good to have the questions planned ahead of time so there are no awkward questions. Situations vary, so instead of giving you 20 questions, we suggest you look at these articles. Date conversation starters and use questions from there. Remember, those are just some of our suggestions. Feel free to make your own. We also recommend reading some questions you should never ask your date. Keep in mind the things you already know about your date. Personalizing your questions to your date, such as asking them why they like one of their hobbies, not only makes for better conversation, but shows you have been paying attention to them as well.
Taking 20 Questions to the Next Level
What if we were to tell you there are 36 questions that lead to love? Would you want to know them? Sadly there is no guarantee that 36 questions will lead to love or marriage, but New York Times has mentioned a study from psychologist Arthur Aron and others who have explored whether intimacy could be developed between two strangers. Although studies have not generated results guaranteeing love, they have shown that the following sets of questions can help create a sense of belonging and a connection that can lead to deeper relationships, and in some cases, love. If you would like to try it out yourself here are the steps:
- Go through the question sets (found at the end of article) in order each person taking a turn asking and answering the question
- After questions are completed stare at each other for 2-4 minutes
You can see an example of this experiment in the video below. Please note the video does swear and can skip over it by skipping from 4:15 to 4:23 .
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
- Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
- Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
- If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
- Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
- Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
We hope you find these date ideas benefical if this date idea doesn’t fit your needs check out our other LDS date ideas.