The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Apps

As LDS singles we are always looking for the best dating apps, especially the best free dating apps. There are a variety of dating apps out there Mutual, Tinder, Hapn, and Bumble are just a few of them.  We particularly recommend Mutual because it is an LDS dating app specifically, but if you are in Utah you will find many other LDS singles on these other dating apps as well. The best part about these apps is they are free, which means there are a lot more people using them.  We have talked to several LDS singles both male and female to get their perspective on these dating apps, and here are their do’s and don’ts for using dating apps. Although this article does not focus on safety we alway want to remind you to be cautious, and safe when using these dating apps.woman-smartphone-girl-technology

Girl’s Do’s and Don’ts

Hey girls, it’s your trusty wingman here.  Chances are if you use dating apps, you’ve probably swiped me to the right or left as you’ve been lying in bed at the end of your day.  It’s quite possible that we’ve even been out on a date since for the last two years I’ve been on hundreds of dates from apps.  As a guy who has been on Tinder, Bumble, Mutual, etc in search of that “perfect match”, let me let you in on a couple of secrets about dating apps.  

Don’t #1: Ghosting

For those of you that are not familiar with the term “ghosting” here’s the low-down.  Let’s say you hit it off with a guy and you start messaging back and forth.  Then one day he messages you and he says something about perhaps meeting up…and you don’t respond…EVER.  Here’s the thing.  When you start talking to somebody online and there’s mutual interest and then all of the sudden you disappear (ghost), you leave the guy wondering what’s wrong with him.  Granted, guys are guilty of this as well, so I’m not saying this is a girl issue, but trust me, being ghosted is quite disappointing and in some cases hurtful to our self-esteem.  My advice would be this: “Don’t swipe right if you’re not interested in a date.

Don’t #2: Be someone you’re not

We’ve heard it said that if we want to marry a high-caliber person, we should strive to be a high-caliber person.  The same goes for online dating apps.  If you present yourself in a promiscuous manner, expect to get attention from promiscuous guys.  As an LDS dating guide website, we’re out there to help you get on dates with the best guys.  There’s a song that’s played on the radio these days that goes something like this: “Where do the good boys go to hide away, hide away?”  The answer is simple.  We’re right here.  And we’re looking for the good girls.  So if you want a good guy, make sure your profile communicates that you’re a good girl.  Disclaimer: guys are guilty of this as well.

Do #1: Accept their offer for a date

If you swiped right on them and they ask you out, then you should probably go out with them.  Not doing so is just downright rude.  Not to mention it makes the guy wonder what’s wrong with himself.  There are few exceptions to this rule.  For example, say he looked like a great guy from his bio, but then comes across as a creep when he asks you out.  I can accept those situations as good grounds for saying no.  However, if he seems like a genuine guy, go out with him.  Who knows?  He could be even better looking in person.

Do #2: Respond in a timely manner

This one is a big one.  There were times when I wanted to ask a girl out to some event and she took so long to respond that I ended up not being able to go because I didn’t ask anyone else because I wasn’t sure if that girl would respond back in time or not.  So if you’re going to be on a dating app, then don’t play games and wait for a day or two to respond to a guy.  Chances are that if he’s going to talk to you, he’s probably going to ask you out.

BOYS DO’S AND DONT’S OF DATING APPS

Hey Boys! It’s your friendly dating advice guru! Well, I don’t know if I have achieved the title “Guru” quite yet, but as a lady that’s been in the dating scene for quite some time, I would like to think I know a little about how men can beef up their dating app profiles to make sure they get the most out of their experience. Dating apps can be very overwhelming at times, as there is an endless amount of prospects and potential partners. How can we stand out from the crowd?  Well as I have been on both tinder and bumble too many times than I’d like to admit, I have found a few tips and tricks that might help out you fellas get those ladies to swipe right.

long distanceDON’T #1: Avoid the generic “Hey, what’s up” message.

           Many women are getting multiple matches and messages a day, only a few of which will stand out above the other matches. In my experience, I tend to talk with people who start a conversation by making me laugh or smile. If you can do that in the first few messages, you are golden! Girls will most likely respond and enjoy conversing with you, if your message stands out. Putting some thought into your initial greeting shows that you have taken the time to show genuine interest, and that she isn’t just another “Swipe”.  On a side note, in your bios steer clear of eliminating potential matches by saying things like “Must be down for a good time” or “Have to be adventurous before swiping right.” All you are doing is coming off as critical and intimidating for possibly not meeting your expectations of “Fun or adventurous”. This will leave them swiping left. Stay positive and keep your playing field open.

DON’T #2: Don’t lie or Catfish

           In the grand scheme of things, we all are striving to find our “ride or die”, our “Partner in Crime”, or in other words our eternal companion. Tinder and Bumble can make us lose sight of this as these apps have a bad rep of being “Hook up” apps. It is imperative that we tell the truth about ourselves and make our intentions clear for what we are wanting. No one likes to be lied to, and no one likes to keep up with their lies. JUST BE YOU! Someone will love everything about you, and if you are lying about who you are that person might miss what they are looking for because it was covered up in a lie. Lies will never get us far, and it especially won’t get us to our end goal of marriage. We are all unique and our imperfections make us love-able.

DO #1: Present yourself well

           It can be extremely difficult to present yourself when all you get to show is 5 pictures and a little bio to win someone over. It is important that we choose the best photos and description of us. We need to present ourselves in a way that will get us the matches that we want. This might come as a shock to all of you guys but girls really don’t like shirtless pictures. It comes off as arrogant and unappealing. I promise you that us ladies can find you attractive in many other different ways. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a little bit of imagination in the process of swiping! Doing so, will keep them interested! Girls love to see you smile, to see you with family or friends, being active, or being in your element or involved in your passion of life. This may come off as cheesy, but they like to see how you are in all aspects of your life. Happiness attracts people, so present that in your profile. There seems to be a saying that is going around that “Nice guys finish last” and yes they do but finishing last is marriage. Be the person that one of these girls wants to spend forever with. The good guy is way more attractive to a girl then any bad guy ever will be. Don’t be afraid to show your love for your family, friends, the go

spel, and yourself!

DO #2: Take her on a date!

           Our generation seems to be so caught up in the “Lets hang out” phase. Do you want yet another friend or do you want to date someone and later find a spouse. Girls love it when the guy plans a date, and takes her out. It shows that you genuinely are interested in getting to know her, and you want to do it in a respectful and fun way. Girls are not that naïve; we all understand what “Hey, come over to my place” means. That is a huge red flag that girls try to avoid. We know your intentions and we are sick of the “one and done Netflix and chill bad intentions” kind of deal. If you show her respect, she will gladly treat you with respect in return. Once you take the time to get to know the person and the connection is there the physical aspect will flow right when it is necessary.

If you take anything from this huge “Do’s and Don’ts” rant that I just gave, just stand out above the crowd, but do it in a very thought out and respectful way. Girls will appreciate it and it will work out better for you in the long run. Until next time my favorite gents! See you in the swiping scene!

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