If you have heard of The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman, Your first thoughts are probably, “That book is for Married couples.” We are here to tell you it is not just for married couples, it is for everyone married couples, singles who are looking at marriage, or even singles who just want to improve their relationships with their family or friends. Reading on we will explain some of the basics of five love languages, share the dating advice we got from the book, as well as show you how to turn it into a great romantic, or long distance date idea.
The Five Languages of Love
Dr. Chapman has invested a large amount of time in researching how to develop strong relationships. He has concluded that love is a language. The main purpose of a language is to communicate. If you have studied communication you may be familiar with the Shannon Seaver Model. You can see how it works in the image below. Simply you need to know that when we communicate messages are sent, received by the receiver, then the receiver sends their own message in response either verbally or nonverbally. This cycle continues and we call it communication. It is also important to know that there are many distractions in between called noise, that can cause miscommunications.
Great. Now you know a little bit more about communication theory, but how does it relate to the Five Languages of Love? Dr. Chapman believes that even through communication we all have our preferences of how we receive and show love. He has divided these preferences into five categories: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gifts, and service. We all can speak these languages; however, we all have a preferred language and the fluency of how well we speak the other depends on how well we develop them. Dr.Chapman will do a better job explaining the ins and outs of each of these languages than us so we invite you to read the book or take the test to find out which love language is your primary language.
Dating Advice from the Five Languages of Love
The book is great advice, but can also be turned it a great date idea especially if you are looking at taking things to the next level.
Romantic Date Idea:
Let’s face it not all dates can be extremely active. For most watching, Netflix or movies turn into a very frequent date. As entertaining as it is movies are not the most social, or interactive type of dates. Reading the Five Languages of Love date can be used to break up the routine, and help you learn more about the other. If you are serious we suggest taking the time to read and discuss the book together. If you don’t feel you can finish the whole book it is okay, skim it. If you are really busy and looking at marriage we suggest at least reading it on your own time and discussing it together.
Long Distance Date Idea:
Long distance relationships are hard, but knowing how you like to be loved, and how the person you are talking to liked to be loved is a great help. You may decide to read the book out loud together, however, we recommend treating it like a book club. Try and set goals to get to certain parts of the book before your next skype or phone call. This is great because it gives you something both people can do during their free time, when the other may not be available. This allows one to feel connected to the other even though they are not talking or messaging right at the moment, which makes this a great activity for those in long distance relationships. Then when you call it also opens up conversations about the current readings. If you like this idea or are looking for another check out our other long distance date ideas for more ways you can make your long distance relationship better.